Bridesmaid and Groomsmen Gifts
There are two wedding party gifts, and conflating them is the most common mistake. One asks. One thanks. They happen months apart and they are not the same size.
The asking gift
The "will you be my bridesmaid" box, given somewhere between six and twelve months out.
This one should be small. It is an invitation, not a reward, and its job is to make a nice moment out of a question. Something to open together over a coffee or a glass of something. Modest is not stingy here, it is correct: an extravagant asking gift sets an expectation you then have to meet again on the day.
Groomsmen get asked too, and usually get asked by text. A small box does the same job and is remembered considerably longer.
The thank-you gift
Given the morning of the wedding or at the rehearsal, and this is the one that should be generous.
By this point they have bought an outfit they did not choose, travelled, taken time off, organised a party for you and absorbed a fair amount of stress on your behalf. The thank-you gift acknowledges a real cost, and it should feel like it does.
How much to spend
Roughly, and these are norms rather than rules.
- Asking gift: $30 to $60 a person.
- Thank-you gift: $60 to $120 a person.
- Maid of honour or best man: a step above the rest, because they did a step more.
One firm rule: spend the same on everyone at the same level. Wedding parties compare, and a visible difference between two bridesmaids is a problem that outlives the wedding.
What to send
All in stock at the time of writing.
Asking gifts
- Reset Mini Moment Gift Box. Bath salts, a candle and rose soap. Small, pretty, and the right scale for a question rather than a thank you.
- Sweet Chocolate Hamper. Hot chocolate, Belgian truffles, chocolate almonds and biscuits. Works for anyone, which matters when you are asking five people at once.
- Vitality Pamper Hamper. Body wash, soap, bath salts and truffles. The step up if you would rather the asking gift carried a bit more weight.
The full set is in bridesmaid boxes.
Thank-you gifts
- Self Care Gift Hamper. Bath salts, candle, rose soap, teas, shortbread and truffles. Good on the morning, better in the week after when everything stops.
- Prosecco Celebration Hamper. The obvious choice for the morning of, and it gets opened while everyone is getting ready.
- Bath & Body Essentials Hamper. Bondi Soap body bars and hand washes with a lavender pillow spray. Practical, and everything in it gets used.
- Botanica Pamper Hamper. A satin robe with bath and candle pieces. The robe photographs well on the morning, which is not a small consideration.
For groomsmen
The pamper range skews feminine, and there is no point pretending otherwise. These work better.
- Celebrate Shiraz & Chocolates Gift Box. A bottle and chocolates in a magnet box. Simple and hard to get wrong.
- Red Wine & Cheeseboard Hamper. A Shiraz with a wooden board and grazing snacks. The board is the part they keep.
More in gifts for him and wedding hampers.
Frequently asked questions
Timing
Asking gifts: six to twelve months out. Early enough that they can actually plan around the date.
Thank-you gifts: the rehearsal dinner or the morning of. The morning is lovely but chaotic, so if the gift needs any attention at all, give it the night before.
The overlooked one: a week after. Everyone gives gifts before and on the day, and nobody gives one after. A small thank you arriving once the whole thing is over lands harder than anything handed over in the noise of the morning.
The mistakes worth avoiding
Personalising everything. Monogrammed robes get worn once. The money is better spent on something they will use.
Giving something they have to use on the day. A gift that is really a costume requirement is not a gift. If you want everyone in matching robes for photographs, that is a purchase you are making, and it does not replace the thank you.
Assuming everyone drinks. Wedding parties often span quite different people. Two options at the same price solves it quietly. See when to send an alcohol-free gift.
Forgetting the people who are not in the party. Whoever did the flowers, drove the car, or took the children for the afternoon. Often the most appreciated gift of the whole wedding.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to give both an asking gift and a thank-you gift? No. Plenty of people do one or the other. If you are choosing, do the thank you.
Should the gifts match? Same value, yes. Identical, not necessarily. Matching within each group looks considered in photographs, which is where they usually end up.
What about flower girls and page boys? Something small and not food, generally, and it is worth checking with their parents first.
Can you deliver to several addresses? Yes, in one order, which is the easy way to handle a wedding party spread across three cities.